Looking for a thought-provoking, heart opening, paradigm changing book about ‘parenting? ‘ Pick up ‘The Conscious Parent’ by Dr.Shefali Tsabary. The principles and ideas in this book have always resonated within me, so when I came in contact with The Conscious Parent, it felt good to see her work become main-stream.
As Back2Skool becomes more of a reality for some of us, so do the competitive sports teams, homework, stresses of ‘lunchmaking,’ doctors appointments, work-life balance, PT meetings, projects, events and everything else thatcomes with Back2Skool. We even start to shift our thought patterns, language, tone of voice and perspective throughout the school year. (Where did laid-back, fun Mommy Go?!). HA, they have no idea right?
The truth is, at the root of the morning craziness, the hustle n bustle, the before-homework scream-fest and “Eat your broccoli or no dessert” empty threats… lies so many expectations, fears, projections, hopes and dreams that we may not even recognize.
What is the most famously repeated question a child is asked throughout their lives? What do you want to be when you grow up? This is often a loaded question full of projected desires for our children to be successful.This desire for our children’s happiness alone isn’t problematic, but most often these questions, expectations, and hopes have more to do with Us than anything else.
In ‘The Conscious parent’ we move away from the hierarchy, superior-inferior, conventional parent-child dynamic and enter a space of receptivity and curiosity. From this vantage point ‘Parenting’ as we know it becomes what it was always meant to be about- The Parent.
Our development and reaching for a higher level of consciousness through internal and external success is our true mentorship to our children.How can we ask our kids to eat healthy, when we rarely do? How can we promote physical and mental health, when we rarely create the time for self-care and exercise? How can we teach compassion, when we have little to offer our selves?
The root behind this seemingly contradicting relationship with our children for us forward thinking parents today is the constant guilt we feel from going to the gym, taking an evening Yoga class, not cooking supper, reading a book, meditating in the room with a sign that says “Don’t You Dare come in,” from taking a much needed vacay, for going to dinner with a friend or simply going out for movie night with your partner.
These all feel so “ICKY” at times, because we’re not there for them.
I am here to tell you that “you have permission to DO YOU.” Yes, you do. Why? Because life is a mirror. It doesn’t show us how They are but instead WHO we ARE in this moment. Our children become another mirror tool, they may offer us the clearest vision of not what we’re lacking, but what we Dream, Hope and Long for.
Every time we show up and nurture our mind, body, soul through the hobbies, readings, activities, projects, wine-nights, entrepreneurship, meditation, Pilates or Yoga….We Fill our own cup up and offer that which overflows.
Today, see if you can start to see your child as a mirror and a teacher. Stay curious, open and receptive to what life whispers or screams your way. (depending on if they’re into slamming doors yet..maybe that too;)
Dr. Tsabary explains so eloquently in The Conscious Parent that we spend so much of our time trying to mold and raise our children, but really if our children could express themselves fully, they would say “Grow Yourself!”
It is in the growing ourselves, reaching for our dreams, expanding in our ideas, the self-reflection, the “getting ourselves” healthy first, taking in the air first from the oxygen mask on the plane (YUP), the self-care, self love and self-awareness to fulfil our ‘own’ highest calling and fullest expression.
This is how we can serve our children, our family, friends, community and ultimately our world as our Best selves.
“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.” -Khalil Gibran
How does one tame the lion that is ‘Back2Skool?’ Realize that in most cases … We are the lion itself. (Yup, I said it, with love)